


Superheroes Make Terrible Roommates

by terroringlasses



Category: roommates - Fandom
Genre: Drabble, Gen, and they were ROOMMATES, but not you know the sexy way, rated for language
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-28
Updated: 2020-06-28
Packaged: 2021-03-04 11:40:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 334
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24969100
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/terroringlasses/pseuds/terroringlasses
Summary: Darcy looked at the two sweatsuited superheroes currently camped out in her couch. People dream of this, she thought, dumbfounded, seriously?
Relationships: Darcy Lewis & Sam Wilson, James "Bucky" Barnes & Darcy Lewis, James "Bucky" Barnes & Sam Wilson, james bucky barnes & sam wilson & darcy lewis
Comments: 4
Kudos: 31





	Superheroes Make Terrible Roommates

Darcy looked at the two sweatsuited superheroes currently camped out in her couch. _People dream of this_ , she thought, dumbfounded, _seriously?_

“Gentlemen,” she began, and they both looked at her, chips paused en route to their respective mouths, “I understand that you have nowhere to go, being as you have only recently been reincorporated. However,” she gestured around the room, at the detritus: Falcon’s wings and shield stowed in one corner, Bucky’s guns half-oiled and abandoned on the coffee table, bottles abandoned on the coffee table and crumbs carelessly littering the cushions. She pinched her nose, counted to three, and began again. “However, this room is disgusting and I swear to Thor if you do not clean up today - !” She could not help it if her voice rose an octave.

Sam nodded at her thoughtfully. Bucky, the little shit, ate the chip. 

She glared. “Listen, birdbrains.”

Bucky looked at her. “I’m not a bird,” he defended himself, pointing a finger at Wilson. “He’s the only bird here.”

“She means Clint. He’s retired,” Sam added helpfully.

Her jaw dropped. “Is this a routine? Have you practiced this?” The pain behind her eyeball throbbed again. “What are you, Laurel and Hardy? Abbot and Costello?”

Bucky’s face brightened. “I recognize those names! Stevie and me used to go see them at the pictures!”

She felt a twinge of sympathy. Sam leapt on it.

“We could always go to Wakanda. I mean, T’Challa is having a hard time rebuilding the country after everyone was dusted. But five years can’t mean that much to a constitutional monarchy, can it?”

Darcy was dumbstruck. Absolutely flabbergasted. “Move over,” she commanded. The pair made room for her between them, shuffling their snacks and beers, brushing crumbs into the floor. She rolled her eyes, tightened the drawstring of her pajama pants, and settled in. “Just...wash a goddamn dish, would you?”

“Yes, Darcy,” they chorused, passing her a beer of her own. Bucky flicked the remote, and they began to binge “Dog Cops.”

**Author's Note:**

> This is out of character as all get out (I believe Sam and Bucky would both 100% be tidier than Darcy) and reinforces gender stereotypes, but I swear, I got that Laurel and Hardy line in my head and couldn't let it go. Please forgive the author.


End file.
